Wednesday, November 20, 2013

1997

Do people still blog?

Is this 1997?

I AM wearing my flannel...but only because I am cold.

As I doubt anyone will ever see this I will just spill it out.

Honestly I am not going to take my pen and paper to the coffee shop probably ever again.

Although I do romanticize such things...

I sit there and write and imagine that some beautiful girl will be reading one of my favorite books and we will start talking and finish each other's sentences and both of us know that we will think about each other the entire rest of the day.

An alliance will be formed that will never be broken...

I fast forward through us living together...

I get nervous about all the problems I imagine we will have...

I picture tears and holding and healing and then I realize...

That I have had that fantasy as long as I can remember and I live in Indiana, where the people seem to be trapped in some neanderthal mindset and prefer Gangham Style to Kasabian and wouldn't know cool if I tattooed it on my dick and slapped them in the face with it.

But, it's always been like that...

Life is high-school part 2...

Some would say "Dude, it's just you. You're the freak."

I know...I accepted that long ago and have no desire to conform.

Not because I am some punk-rock rebel.

I have no energy for that.

Just because I have dabbled...

I have seen how the other 99.9% live and I don't think they have a pulse.

I choose to be alive and alone...

My records are my friends...

How fucking cliche and pretentious is that?

And seriously, I am fucking blogging...

So clearly I want acceptance.

Self-awareness...what a curse.

I spend most of my time in solitude.

If I am not working on music I am working on promoting it on the internet.

It is a barren existence of creating content for various social websites and then waiting on other people to do their jobs...

Coma Dolls has a web-development team.

A fucking WEB DEVELOPMENT TEAM!!!

When I was a kid learning how to play and write songs I couldn't imagine saying something like that.

How fucking rock n roll is that?

But it is reality.

Without business people no one would ever hear the music we create...

And we made a conscious decision that we want people to hear us.

We would have a publicist, but right now we can't afford one.

So I am the band's publicist which means I spend about 6 hours per day promoting our shit and creating content so people will follow us.

And not even musical content...

No one really has the attention span for music anymore...

It has to be this 24 hour light show with music occasionally sprinkled in.

Example...

http://comadolls.tumblr.com/

Pretty lights to gain followers then "Oh yeah, btw PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE listen to our music."

But you can't seem needy or else no one wants it.

Music is such a tiny part of the media spectrum these days...

And being an idealist..wishing for the days of record players and blacklight Led Zeppelin marijuana induced listening parties will get us nowhere.

So I keep asking myself...

"How do you make people love YOUR music the way YOU love music?"

And so far I don't have an answer...

So I keep clicking...and hoping it will come...

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