Thursday, December 5, 2013

Overcoming The Game

There is an ever expanding set of rules that have proliferated modern culture.

These rules assure the practitioner that if they practice these rules they will have the people they are attracted to following them around like puppy dogs.

In my experience these principles absolutely work and should be ignored at all costs.

As I am a heterosexual male, this article will be written from my personal experience.

It is important to note that women have completely different rules.

These rules are similar and mainly consist of what Neil Strauss calls "cat string technique", in other words, always be in charge and make sure they want you more than you want them.

In practice this was very simple and did have some value as it is healthy to prove to one's self that they can control their impulses.

For example, when approaching a female in a group I would not speak to her.

I speak to everyone in the group except her.

I develop rapport and make the others like me.

This is showing status and increasing the chances that the girl you like will engage you.

When she does engage you, you would playfully refute her with something like "Wow. Are you always this needy?" then go back to addressing the group.

Most beautiful women are used to men falling all over themselves to talk to them, so when you show you have no interest in her, this should pique her interest, throw her off HER game and start her pursuit.

Have you ever heard a woman say "He isn't someone I would normally be attracted to. I don't understand it."?

She is more than likely falling for these basic manipulations.

Once we engage in conversation I will use some basic NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) techniques to break through the kino barrier.

What is the kino barrier?

It is the invisible barrier that lies between a man and a woman he has just met that is commonly said to be the longest distance in the universe.

Women touch each other constantly and our culture deems it okay for women to initiate physical contact with men.

Men live inside bubbles.

They do not touch each other and they certainly don't touch women, or else they may be considered creepy.

Add to this that men are almost always afraid of the women they are attracted to.

A man can conquer the world and be successful in business, yet still fear women.

A man can travel all the way across the earth with little problem, but the 6 inches it takes for a man to move in for the first kiss will terrify even the most successful men.

A PUA (pickup artist) breaks the kino barrier early and often.

A master level player breaks it at just the right times.

She smiles. I touch her elbow.

I say "Get out" and push her in the shoulder while she is laughing.

I show her a variety of different silly handshakes with funny names that cause her to laugh while we are touching.

She learns quickly to link my touch to good feelings.

Very quickly we are playful together,

Now kissing is not so far away.

And then just when things are going well I walk away and practice the pattern on a different group.

Complete control has been established.

She is used to dodging advances until exhaustion, but now she is left wanting more.

A true PUA wins at every stage of The Game.

He is always dangling the string.

Later on the woman will find you and say something like "Hey!! You left me!!"

David DeAngelo would have you say something like "OK. Well you've got two minutes. Entertain me." (BIG SMILE)

This game can carry on for as long as you want it to.

But when you stop the game, the chances are great that the girl will get bored and leave.

She is not into you.

She is into The Game.

She is trying to decode break it...and she is usually unaware that her attraction is based around this challenge.

In my personal practice with these techniques my success rate was astounding.

I actually could not believe the effect.

It became a problem.

A PUA never hides who he is.

When I had a party there was never a choice of which girl to invite.

You invite them all.

To hide what one is, is not the mark of a man who is weak.

I would hold parties and walk into a room and see five women who I had slept with that month all in the same room, talking to each other.

It was fascinating to see their different reactions after information had been exchanged.

One would pull me into a room and say "You really get around, you naughty boy." and try to initiate sex as a claim to territory and show the other females who was dominant.

Another would leave and drift away, unable or unwilling to deal with the reality of the situation.

Yet another would come up to me and say "So I was talking to Mary and she says you met her the same way you met me."

And a conversation would ensue in which I confidently and lovingly reminded her that I was seeing lots of people, not just Mary, and would continue to do so.

I always expected them to tell me that this was NOT okay.

That almost never happened.

Instead they just tried harder to win.

Gifts, insisting to pay for outings, going to the next level in the bedroom, ultimatums, jealousy traps...

All techniques used against the PUA to reign him in.

None of them will ever work.

A true PUA must be zen and accept that people will maneuver around him with manipulation.

He must be the center of his universe.

The calm in the eye of the storm.

Nothing could seem to convince these women that I would never be exclusive with them.

My words were not taken literally.

They were translated into "If you try really hard, you will be the one I choose."

I realized very quickly that these women were not "in love" with me, but rather they were wrestling with some ideal of acceptance and I had become the movie screen to project a lifetime's worth of inadequacies onto.

I am sure it will delight many readers when I say that I felt dehumanized.

I want to take this time to point out that I was NEVER dishonest with the women I dated.

I always told them from contact that I was not interested in a relationship.

I reiterated this regularly and and lovingly when needed.

They were always free to walk away at any given time and I reminded them of this often.

Very few did.

I was raised exclusively by my grandmother and have always had a deep and abiding respect for women.

I truly do believe they are the superior sex.

As a result I had always played "the nice guy" and was the big brother shoulder you would cry on for most of my twenties.

I detested players and still do mostly, but as a result of my experiment I did learn that many PUAs are ethical men who love and respect women, but most are driven by some sort of inadequacy and a desire to find themselves.

Here is the truth that women do not want to hear...

You created this.

The Game was created because men are afraid and clueless.

They are this way because for hundreds of years most women made the choice to choose dominant, powerful men over men with character.

"Good guys" were tired of being left at home as the women they treated so well went out with the assholes who treated them like shit.

The "nice guys" became tired of wiping away the tears of girls who clearly were attracted to jerks.

So they became jerks.

If a woman reading this can honestly say that she doesn't pick assholes on a regular basis then you are not part of the problem.

But The Game exists solely because men are scared, confused and lonely.

It is a sad situation all around.

But isn't this article about "Overcoming The Game"?

Well yeah...

So in 6 months I slept with more women than I had the rest of my life combined.

I could pick up my phone at any time of the day and see texts from 10 or more girls all wanting to know if they could take me out.

I did not have to fake being cool and waiting 4 minutes to respond.

I simply was overwhelmed and could not keep up.

Men continued to call and email to ask me if I could help them meet women or win back ex-girlfriend's.

One woman asked me if I would be willing to teach other men techniques and be paid for it.

She wanted to be my manager.

I could approach strange women in pretty much any situation and walk away with contact info that would often lead to sex.

Out of hundreds of approaches over 200 women were kind enough to give me contact info.

From those 200, 78 turned into dates (yes I kept stats).

Of those 78 dates I kissed 49 women.

Of those 49 I slept with 34.

Of those 34 I was bored with every one of them.

What did this all mean?

What did I learn from all of this?

One day my friend texted me and said "I just want someone to come over here and cook dinner for my son and I."

"You have no idea how good that sounds to me." I said.

And then I realized that I would have traded sex with 34 women for cooking a meal for one woman who I loved.

It was then that I accepted that I do not like to walk away when I am enjoying talking to a woman.

I want to stay and talk and if that makes me needy and I get "friendzoned" then so be it.

I don't want to be anything but the silly fuck that I am.

I don't want to be "always in control".

I am goofy and romantic.

I tear up at old movies and I never really bought the notion that I should somehow feel grateful just because some girl "let's me" fuck her.

I honestly would rather just play my guitar than to have sex with some girl who I'm not in love with.

And if that makes me weird than I am okay with that.

I want a girl who likes me for me and likes all the little, silly, quirky things about me.

And I don't want to have to think about waiting 4 minutes to text someone back so they know I'm not needy.

I want someone who knows I am excited about them and has self-esteem enough to handle that.

And The Game actually pulls us further away from all that.

But I am glad I played.

I learned a lot about myself and learned that it is better to be alone than to invest your energy in wasted places.

So I am retired.

And I am single.

And I am much happier focusing on music and writing than I was manipulating women into liking me.

And I like me.

No manipulation required.

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