Single On Valentine's Day (a rant for single people)

A friend of mine recently attempted to insult this misogynist asshole I know.

Forgetting I was single, she said "And that's why he isn't married."

As if...

As if being married...or in a relationship is somehow inherently superior to being single.

Single seems natural to me.

I was BORN single.

I am HAPPY single.

I would consider having a girlfriend, but she would have to be AMAZING!!

Because my life is in fact AMAZING already and everything that comes into it must be to this standard.

My band is amazing.

My friends are amazing.

My kids are A-FUCKING-MAZING!!

I have the car I want...the guitars I want...I even have the fucking TV I want.

I live in America where I have such mind-bending decisions as to WHICH pizza will I order tonight? Or should I watch The Office again? start Breaking Bad over? or watch a movie?

There are WAY MORE GOOD THINGS TO DO THAN THERE ARE HOURS IN THE DAY.

So why accept an average person for a mate?

I am NOT down on monogamy.

Some of the best times in my life were had with a "special someone", but the idea that just being in a relationship is a good thing is asinine.

Most couples are miserable.

They are two people caught in an endless loop of unresolved childhood issues, projected and played out on each other and it is just sad.

When I DO meet a girl it usually plays out like this:

"Oh she's pretty." then I talk to her.

And I find out...

She lacks intelligence...or lacks ambition...or says something stupid like "Who has time to read?" or "I don't like Sonic Youth." or "Who's Wes Anderson?"

Or I meet someone who is totally amazing, but the attraction isn't there for one or both of us.

Which is awesome, because then I have an amazing new friend.

I LIKE single people.

I like people who have inner-strength and who aren't looking for someone else to complete their lives.

People say to me often "You have such high standards."

And that's the key isn't it?

Lowering our standards.

That's what people do, right?

People are so lonely that they lower their standards and end up in a relationship with some asshole.

One day at a time they SETTLE for a person who isn't what they dreamed of and they make excuses for them.

And this allows them to make excuses for themselves.

And they make excuses for their shit job.

They call it acceptance... so it doesn't sound so bad.

And then they tell us single people that our "standards are to high"

Perhaps our standards for what we require in a mate SHOULD be high.

And our standards for what we will accept from ourselves should definitely be high.

Perhaps being single is to be admired.

Perhaps self-sufficiency should be saluted over codependency.

Perhaps Cupid needs glasses.

Or a decent therapist.

Or maybe he should just switch to tranquilizing darts.

Instead of those real ones that often seem so misguided.