Wednesday, February 26, 2014


"When god closes a door he opens a window"?

There are soooooooooooooooo many things wrong with this sentence.

First off, who wants to climb out a window?

What if you are fat?

What if you are handicapped?

Then what?

I mean seriously, you are GOD!!

Can't you close a door and create ANOTHER FUCKING DOOR!!!

Here's the other thing.

Did you check the door?

Maybe it's just closed.

Not even locked.

What kind of jackass climbs out a window before even checking the door?

I'll tell you what kind.

The kind that says stupid shit like "When god closes a door HE opens a window."

And another thing, I'm sick of this HE shit.

If god existed it would be ALL powerful and would be above human form, but if it DID have a human form it would have ALL sex organs or possibly NONE.

The fact that people still say HE is just ridiculous subversive sexism and it permeates the entire culture and sends the message that women are inferior.

If HE closes a door and opens a window then HE is clearly a dick for doing such shit (if indeed the door is actually locked).

Perhaps god just wants a little privacy.

Perhaps god closed the door because YOU are fucking annoying and THEY are sick of listening to you grovel about all the shit in your life that YOU fucked up.

Perhaps god closed the door because you are a dick and THEY are sick of your shit.

Perhaps god opened the window so you would JUMP THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

Maybe god IS real and SHE wants you to examine your platitudes.

And don't even get me started on "If god gives you lemons..."

I fucking LIKE lemons and feel THIS statement is insulting on a completely different level.

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